Dennis has no friends at George Mason.

That's what Facebook tells me, anyway.


...Oh, wait! Now I do. In your face, Facebook!

...uh, nice to see you, too...

Carrie has been with us about a week now, and has gotten used to us enough that when we reappear from being away for any length of time, we are greeted with a greyhound "smile."

We were warned early on that Carrie is a "smiler" and were also warned that a greyhound smile can be a little—'disconcerting.'

'...Disconcerting?!?'

...Did you see "Alien"?

A full greyhound smile is like the Alien's smile, but with less dripping and fewer sets of teeth.

Hey! I've got one!

Carrie had a huge outburst of scheissenfreude this morning!

And when she comes in from the cold, she shakes so hard to settle her coat that—no fooling—her front legs fly off the ground.

She's a hoot.

Isn't it interesting...

...that the I.D.iots always frame the discussion in terms of "Intelligent Design" versus "Evolution," not "Intelligent Design" versus "Natural Selection?"

Would that be because evolution is a little bit mysterious and difficult to actually envision, while "Natural Selection," which is really what Darwin was espousing (the idea of evolution had been kicked around forever—no one had really nailed down the actual mechanism before) is plain to see everywhere in the world around us?

Why do rational people keep letting the yahoos and hicks set the terms? Take back the argument, folks, turn the tables—the real argument is between natural selection and "...pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!"

And for goodness sakes—why are we even dignifying their position by arguing it? Let them dry up and blow away.

Indisputable proof of natural selection:

The voters of Dover, Pennsylvania, exercised their right of natural selection and voted out their entire evolutionarily unfit, poorly adapted School Board. In a brillliant display of Intelligent Design, they voted in a full slate of science-minded candidates, perhaps in response to being dubbed the "Dayton, Tennessee" of Pennsylvania.

The good news for the ousted school board members is that they can probably find work in Kansas, which at the exact same time was renewing its status as laughingstock of not just the midwest or the U.S., but pretty much the whole world by insisting the their students be "taught the controversy" in the name of "free speech" and "intellectual freedom."

You win some, you lose some. But you know--I feel a mysterious hand at work here, directing us towards...oh nevermind.

I just don't know whether to laugh or cry.

p.s.: Way to go, Virginia. Once again, I'm proud of my Old Dominion. And don't call it a state, buddy--it's a commonwealth.

Here's another update

On September 5th, the second word of the day was "schadenfreude," German for, literally "harm-joy," or less literally, 'taking a perverse pleasure in the misfortunes of others.'

However, we have a recent report of an instructor (who will remain unnamed) allegedly using the term "scheissenfreude," which in French would be "Joie de Merde."

I am wracking my brain just trying to come up with a context in which you could use such a phrase. But rest assured, as soon as I find one, I'll be dazzling my listening audience with my witty multilingualism.

...Aucune merde, mi amigos!

An Analogy update from August

Now that I know a lot more about Greyhounds than I thought was humanly possibly, I rescind my analogy of Beast to a Greyhound, though I will stick with my comparison of the F650 to a Jack Russell terrier. A this point, the best "bike" = "dog" analogy I can make using a greyhound and a BMW is "Campaigner" = "Carrie."

Campaigner sits for extended periods without ever moving.

Carrie, likewise.

Campaigner has a long, successful professional career behind it.

Carrie, likewise.

Campaigner can be provoked into speeds in excess of 40 MPH on occasion.

Carrie, likewise. (So we have been told.)

Campaigner is beautiful in a classic, elegant, understated way.

Carrie, likewise.

So there you have it. The perfect Bike=Dog metaphor.

Carrie on!

Shin Kicker - Rory Gallagher

Well, it's a shin-kick morning
Gotta kickstart the day
Wind up my machine and I'll be on my way.
Well, a burning fever
Woke me up at dawn
I didn't have no choice,
I had to carry on.
Well, my engine's overheating
And I'm running out of gas
I only got the two speeds and it's slow and fast.
Well, I got to find a town that's got some action
Got to find a place stays open late, right away.
C.C. Mama, Motorcycle queen
I'm gonna catch up with you with my lightning wheels.
It's cold black coffee
Eggs and grease
Stop in at the truckstop, I don't want to sleep.
Well, it's a shin-kick morning
I'm gonna turn up the heat
I'm racing all the truckers and I got them beat

Vincent Black Lightning 1952 - Richard Thompson

(click on title to hear Richard Thompson perform this song)

Oh says Red Molly to James "That's a fine motorbike.
A girl could feel special on any such like"
Says James to Red Molly "My hat's off to you
It's a Vincent Black Lightning, 1952.
And I've seen you at the corners and cafes it seems
Red hair and black leather, my favourite colour scheme"
And he pulled her on behind and down to Boxhill they did ride

Oh says James to Red Molly "Here's a ring for your right hand
But I'll tell you in earnest I'm a dangerous man.
For I've fought with the law since I was seventeen,
I robbed many a man to get my Vincent machine.
Now I'm 21 years, I might make 22
And I don't mind dying, but for the love of you.
And if fate should break my stride
Then I'll give you my Vincent to ride"

"Come down, come down, Red Molly" called Sergeant McRae
"For they've taken young James Adie for armed robbery.
Shotgun blast hit his chest, left nothing inside.
Oh come down, Red Molly to his dying bedside"
When she came to the hospital, there wasn't much left
He was running out of road, he was running out of breath
But he smiled to see her cry
He said "I'll give you my Vincent to ride"

Says James "In my opinion, there's nothing in this world
Beats a 52 Vincent and a red headed girl.
Now Nortons and Indians and Greeves and Harleys won't do,
Ah, they don't have a soul like a Vincent 52"
Oh he reached for her hand and he slipped her the keys
Said "I've got no further use for these.
I see angels on Ariels in leather and chrome,
Swooping down from heaven to carry me home"
And he gave her one last kiss and died
And he gave her his Vincent to ride.