First Drafts from Folsom Prison

I shot a man in Reno just to see if the gun still worked.

I shot a man in Reno for changing lanes without signalling.

I shot a man in Reno for driving with his turn signal on.

I shot a man in Reno for driving fifteen miles below the speed limit.

I shot a man in Reno for driving in the passing lane.

I shot a man in Reno for tailgating.

I shot a healthy man in Reno for parking in the handicapped space.

I shot a man in Reno for parking in the fire lane.

I shot a man in Reno for improperly using apostrophe’s.

I shot a man in Reno all the way from Tahoe.

I shot a man in Reno for using ‘reactionary’ when he mean ‘reactive.’

I shot a man in Reno for talking on his cellphone in the movie.

I shot a man in Reno for wearing a ‘Guinness’ shirt while drinking a Bud Lite.

I shot a man in Reno for generically referring to motorcycles as ‘Harleys.’

I shot a man in Reno for randomly using “quotation” marks.

I shot a man in Reno for using ‘literally’ to mean ‘figuratively.’

I shot a man in Reno for misusing the HOV lane.

I shot a man in Reno for arguing with the cashier over a 25¢ coupon.

I shot a man in Reno for having 12 items in a 10-item express lane.

I shot a man in Reno for organizing his entire financial portfolio at the driveup ATM.

I shot a man in Reno for ordering that drink he ordered at Starbucks.

I shot a man in Reno for saying “fewer,” when he meant “less.”

I shot a man in Reno for using ‘your’ when he meant “you’re.”

I shot a man in Reno

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. ü